This type of scam I’ve mainly encountered in the Philippines. The distances are large — with over 7,400 islands, it’s possible that through dating apps you’ll meet a girl from another island. Many will genuinely want to come see you, but others take advantage of this situation to keep the travel money. I’m not talking about traveling to see you in your country, but within their own country.
In the Philippines, as anywhere else, it’s easier to meet girls in less touristy areas than in tourist hotspots. This means that if you date online, you’ll likely get better matches far from where you, as a foreigner, are staying. I’m speaking from my own experience in the Philippines since it’s where I’ve encountered this the most, but it can happen in any country.
If you meet a girl who lives in the same country but far away and wants to visit you, the best option would be for her to borrow the travel money from someone she knows, and you reimburse her when you meet. Unfortunately, this often isn’t possible, as many of these women are genuinely poor. Another option is to pay for her taxi once she arrives. I was once in this situation with a girl, but she flatly refused, claiming that maybe I wouldn’t be there to pay the taxi. Analyzing it, I had no interest in making her take a taxi only not to show up, but she could very well have an interest in keeping the taxi money if I sent it in advance and never showing up. So I didn’t send it, and she refused to come — probably a scam.
On another occasion, I started talking to an incredibly beautiful girl who, right from the start, said how much she’d love to be in bed cuddled up with me watching a movie. The next thing she said was that, to make that happen, I needed to send her money so she could come see me — so I didn’t even bother replying.
A friend of mine (yes, a friend — not me) once sent money to a girl in the Philippines for a plane ticket from another island. He never saw her. If you ever find yourself in this situation, offer to buy the ticket yourself — and make sure it’s refundable. If she insists you send her the money instead of buying it directly, it’s definitely a scam.
Then there are the small scams — just a few dollars for a supposed bus ride to come see you. These are harder to spot and easy to fall for since it’s only a couple of dollars. It’s not a big loss, but it’s still frustrating to be tricked.
That said, I’m not suggesting you refuse every time you have to pay for someone’s travel to come see you. I’ve sent money to girls who actually came, and we had a great time together. Just stay alert to the details that show whether she truly likes you. If a girl really likes you, she won’t rush into asking for travel money right away — she’ll want to get to know you first. Do video calls and pay attention to how genuinely interested she seems. Try to handle the travel payment in a way that the money doesn’t go directly through her hands. And in the worst-case scenario, if you do get scammed, make sure it’s not for much money — sometimes, taking a small risk is inevitable.